mystic crossroads

Management Tour 2011: Cebu-Bohol Escapade

2011-11-29T21:52:00.000-08:00

A Jump Away From Home

The island of Cebu lies between Negros and Leyte, its neighboring islands. The island is more or less surrounded by Straits of Cebu on both sides. Cebu is geographically long but quite narrow and has Mactan Island, Bantayan, Daanbantayan, Malapascua, Olango and Camotes Islands. The island is extremely urbanized with four big cities. Cebu city is the cradle of Christianity because it is known as the oldest settlement established by the Spaniards in the country.

Flying to the Queen City of the South and the wonderful island of Bohol, I have experienced a never before adventure packed with new leanings, blissful memories, as well as daring and exciting moments. I was able to see the major attractions of the City as well as its exotic natural landmarks. I was able to witness how the giant companies operate. The production procedures I once imagined is happening right in front my eyes. For instance, I saw the entire process of how Nature Spring bottled water is produced, from the making of the plastic bottles to the final products. They come in different sizes, contents, colors and labeling. It was fantastic.

We checked-in at the Golden Peak Hotel, in Mandaue City Cebu. For a person like me, the hotel is great. Our room is located in the 18^th floor. Waw! The tallest hotel in Zamboanga is just 10 stories high. If I remember it right, it beats the record of the 14^th floor room, during our stay in Davao, during the 23^rd MPDC. My companions in the first day were Geo, Glenn, Alexa, Alayka, Connie, Jessa, Wendy and Mikay. From arrival at Cebu, we arrived at the hotel around 12:00 noon. The rest were already having their lunch while we take our plates in the buffet serving. After lunch, Wendy and I, headed to our room on the 18^th floor. The city view from the glass windows of the 18^th floor was really nice. The tall buildings, the skyscrapers, the big malls, the big domes amaze me. Cebu has a lot. I realized how Zamboanga was developing very slowly. These infrastructures reflect mass investments coming in Cebu. It reflects the progress of the city. Fact, Mandaue City is an exporter of excellently made furniture. This is just one of the things it can be proud of. On that day too, we visited Magic Melt and Alegre Guitars. Although I bought most of my ‘pasalubongs’ there, the place wasn’t that memorable because it seemed ordinary to me. We also visited the Lapulapu monument and took a tour to Ayala Mall. Not so much things interested me at the mall. I was hesitant to spend on the first day. Some of the Suckerz and me just went window hopping in the different corners of the big dome(Ayala). Indeed that day was really tiring. I was already impatient because our bus has not yet arrived. My energy was draining as we were waiting outside the Ayala South Wing for that sluggish bus. Finally, it arrived after an hour of waiting. The heavy traffic is said to be the cause of its delay. My legs are aching; my body is beginning to give in. I think I am not used to really big malls. It really drains our energy subtly. When I we arrived at the hotel, all I wanted was a big rest on my comfy bed. I wasn’t able to change clothes as I plunged in my bed.

Since my alter ego has plunged in to bed that early, because she is tired.(figuratively said) I’ll take over. What is so nice about the 18^th floor? The city’s magnificence and splendor is much appreciated when its night time. Staring from the glass window of our room, I can see the yellow streetlights and the other colorful lights from the different establishments around the city. The green letterings of PAGCOR at Waterfront are very visible. The mini stores are also luminous with the letterings of its establishments. There are few vehicles on the streets, yet their taxi’s are making their trips 24 hours. When you put this altogether, the city is like a paradise of gem stones sparkling with its own radiance. The night sky is also visible with the stars twinkling with its own brightness. Yes, they may be light years away but as I breathe in I can feel the stars are staring at me and listening to my heart as I pour my wishes and dreams in the invisible blank space.

Early mornings, our hotel room is a panic room. As we take our bath and get dressed, we are all chasing the call time, the time when the bus leaves. Despite the little time, we are still able to get in the bus on time.

Let me share, more of my insights as we travel to one of the sources of cash inflow in our economy, the Mactan Economic Processing Zone Authority (MEPZA) this is my favorite part of the tour, because aside from the handsome speaker, I was able to learn more about how the economic zones generate income not only to Mactan but in the entire Philippines. Foreign investors are attracted with the benefits of economic zones. One simple requisite for the foreign investors in MEPZA is to hire at least 90% Filipino laborers. The surprising thing I learned, was that 80% of the workers (i.e. welders, technicians etc.) in a certain area of the MEPZA were females. The investors also choose the Philippines because of our good work attitude, and the good communication skills we Filipinos have. They say. “God created mankind, and everything else is MADE IN CHINA”, but as we look at the grander scale, our country is also competing among developing countries in Asia.

My second favorite firm is the Banko Sentral Cebu branch. I learned more about the secrets of the Philippine money. The design of our bills is unique and striking. The trivias about our Philippine money, during the seminar was fun. The good thing is, we arrived early. The lesson learned was that BSP was very strict; all must abide by the rules and always be on time. I appreciated more our Philippine bills after the seminar because I realized that it represents the Filipino pride, our heroes of democracy and the natural wonders of the Philippines.

Lastly, one of the insights that sunk in was that of the Corporate Social Responsibilities that the giant firms practice and implement. For instance, Sykes Call Center has recreational activities and health benefits for their employees. I also learned how a call center earns profit despite minimal charges on calls (35 cents per minute). Moreover I was glad because the firm sees to it that their human resource assets are valued the most. Aside from Syke’s CSR, I could not understand, but I was suddenly enticed to work at Sykes call center. Their trainings and the related skill bound in Sykes was captivating. Mr. Noel, the one who gave us the talk about Skyes was brilliant. He speaks in a very nice English accent as he pronounces every word, phrase, and sentence. I was fell in love with his job. As he was talking about the employee qualification, I was listening intently. The four basic standards they needed nailed my mind. All you need in Pronunciation/Diction, Grammar, Logic, and Confidence. Woah! I imagined that I posses those characteristics perfectly. Halt! It seemed simple, but it’s really far from what I am now.

Apart from the adventures we had in touring the different companies in Cebu, I also had a personal adventure with my friends. On our second day stay in Cebu, Kelvin, Glenn Carl, Sarah and I decided to explore Cebu’s night life. Ate Eds, Glenn Carl’s cousin toured us around. She is from Zamboanga and taking up Medicine in Cebu. We visited Waterfront Hotel and IT Park. Waterfront Hotel was awesome. Making our way to the lobby we walked through a corridor which gives you an ambience of Europe. The sides of the corridors are restaurants that are classy and well designed for fine dinning. The lobby was spacious and artistic with all the wall paintings, ceiling art, and the elegant chandeliers. I planned to enter the Casino inside the hotel yet, they only accept people ages 21 years and above. I guess it’s my first time in a place like this. We strode for a few minutes along the terraces and the alleys of Waterfront to see the place and we left. We we’re literally walking in the park.

Our next stop was a bar or a place where we can hang out and drink. We ended inside The Walk, Pier I. There was band singing. There were a few people. (It’s not a weekend eh) We had light drinks (Margarita, San Mig Light) with nachos. It’s not my first time in a bar, but I felt that I am free that night. There are no curfews, no parents who will fetch me, no time limit etc. unlike Zamboanga. I wanted to be drink till I will be wasted that night. Yet, I was thinking that if I’d do that, I will be drowsy the next day. I can’t let a headache ruin my next day because we will be at the Banko Sentral the next morning which is my assigned company for my management final requirement. I tried to reframe my mind, as I was telling myself that this trip is an educational tour, not a vacation or a time where I can break away and enjoy the lime lights in the city that never sleeps. As I stood up to pay our bills, I felt a little dizzy. I guess it’s the first shake, amounts of alcohol already infiltrated my blood, for I had a low tolerance to it. A few more chats and it was already past 11:00pm. We headed back to the hotel and continued to drink. Five more bottles of Tanduay Ice were brought in the room. Kelvin was tipsy and he even stumbled on the mattress of the hotel room. Yet, I know he’s mind is still in reality. Sarah, Glenn Carl, Wendy and Fritz were also in the room. They joined the fun as we tuned in to MYX channel to sing and dance with the beat of the music. I didn’t get tipsier but I find myself talking like I am not the shy and demure girl. I tried to lie down so as for the alcohol content to sink in my brain and make me dizzier, but it didn’t work. I don’t feel wasted. My spirits are alive. I think they see me as drunk, speaking in loud tones. I think I am high. Is this the feeling of getting sober? I never experienced it. Although this moment is very futile and premature to be a party drinking girl, I was on the initial phase of that life. Earl went in and asked us to go back to our designated rooms. The fifth bottle was empty. We went back to our rooms. I fell asleep.

On the third day, we are scheduled to visit the epic Chocolate Hills, the exotic Tarsiers and see the island of Panglaw. We were just able to visit two of these tourist spots. Since we ran out of time, we were not able to visit the natural wonders in Panglaw anymore. Yet, it was still a fulfilling adventure after all. I like best, the view above the chocolate hills. It was very refreshing and relaxing. The wind makes me feel revived. The sky and the clouds seemed to be so reachable. A few more photo shoots and we needed to go down the hill for the bus might be waiting for us. Hey, there are other tourist spots in here too. Oh! There are a lot of handsome Korean tourists. They look like artists. The trip was long, and again it’s another tiring day. The fast craft (SuperCat) was the most annoying mode of transportation. The centralized air conditioner inside was freezing me, the unlucky thing is that he is seated on the next row. Too bad he was not beside me; his warmth is all I need. I feel very nostalgic. I cannot complain. I can not demand because the seats are based on the tickets given.

As we reach the end our trip and boarding to Zamboanga, I realized that the five days spent, was indeed a worthwhile experience.

A Midsummer Story

2010-11-04T01:47:00.000-07:00

“A Trace of Summer's Romantic Fragrance

“If you don’t want to lose him, don’t fall in love with him”
STRANGERS

The first time she knew who this guy was, was during the first debate practice night she attended. She saw him buying a burger at Mr. Donuts in front of the school. They didn’t mind each other inside the eating place for they did not each other. She is aware that he is also one of those students who passed the audition and they were from the same course. Generally, they were strangers.

HE FASCINATES HER

Now it has been a year since they both journey together in one debate union. They are now permanent members in the union with voting rights in the union. They could at least talk to each other now. He is cold and aloof back then. (Still the same as now) In the process, she got to know more about this guy, and she was challenged to meet persons like him. He is aggressive when it is necessary, favorably intellectual, mysterious and “suplado”. He is one of the smart guys in class as well as in the batch. She is really intrigued by the aura of this young appealing guy of her age. He had a little bit of the looks but not much of the height. His sparkling smile and his exquisite features always draw her beckoning glance. His pale yellowish skin reflected the vibrant Chinese blood within him. She is really attracted with white chinito guys with such face value. A physical trait that makes him more unique is the small pony tail on his back which is the extension of his hair. It is neatly fixed by his mother, sister of brother at home before he goes to school. According to him, he will allow it to grow until his butt just like how the ancient Chinese warriors. Indeed he has really a weird disposition at things. Another thing that sets him distinct among the other guys is his behavior of being liberal. He can always express sensitive things openly. For instance when the conversation talks about sex, masturbation, homosexuality, satisfaction, he is always on the top of it. Yet, she believes he is an open minded person. Her alter ego can’t help but wonder if his aggressiveness and broad-minded character were also the ones that also reflect the type of person he is, in terms of relationships as well and his assertive nature in bed. On the other hand it could be the opposite, maybe he is conservative though, and his character is just mask of his real demure character. And yes, that parcel of his persona fascinates her interests.

NEW ACQUAINTANCES

She is a debater by heart. The debate world is already part of her lifestyle. The gravity in this world is different. The robust gravity in this realms allowed her to fall and stumble upon another debater. At first, she thought that he was just a mere copy of the previous one, that his presence just made her complete by filling in the empty dunes of loneliness and patching the scars of a past affection. Contrary to this fact, she felt that it was more than that. The magnitude of his presence was more intense. He taught her some of life’s unspoken lessons. They journey together accruing new knowledge and skills in debate. However being his debate partner during the year’s debate tournaments did not progress their closeness in the sense that they did not get to know each other that much. When they communicate, it’s all about manner, matter, method and all the technicalities in debate. Analyzing arguments, building the strongest case of even rebutting the fiercest arguments dwelt only on the professional levels of their lives, not necessarily the intimate personal level. There were few moments where they shared happy moments and laughers whenever the debaters hang out. Those moments were little occasions that started building bonds and little friendships among the debaters. She and her debate batch mates started developing close acquaintances within the group. (They were the debate newbies)

The bonds were closer now, this further put together her feelings that she could not explain. She finds him special among the other guys in the union. Feelings emanate from different specs within. It was like a prism of vibrant colors painting a ray of delight in her heart whenever she is with him. However those feelings are kept unspoken. It is trapped beneath the fears of taking risks and the fear of rejection. Yes, this was the same scenario that sets hindrances whenever she falls. She is not free because the situation is always like this, she always ends up the new comer in his life, because there were heartstrings between his past sweet heart which obstructs her from showing what she truly feels. She respects those bonds. Who is she in the first place to cause such interference in his life?

SUMMER 09

The first weeks of her summer was spent on debate practices during late afternoons, extending to night time. After the shift of the administration, change of officials and modification of some policies, the debate society was embracing a new and opposite environment compared to the previous one. It was a better learning environment as well as a better breeding ground for relishing friendships and fostering camaraderie. The debate club opened its doors to summer trainees and other guests.

Every night was filled with matter, intellectualism and enthusiasm. Due to the increase of its members the debate team was able to debate in dual brit par in two rooms or a dual Asians almost everyday. She remembers that during the previous practices the debaters could hardly debate due to few people attending the practices. The motions were flexible and matter heavy. Indeed the debate legacy is starting to take its real form and incrementally rising from the ashes.
The practices were in preparations for the up coming tournament for the opening school year. Step by step each debater was enhancing his or her skill and making better speeches. One of her most memorable round was when she and Adriel being Closing Opposition (randomly paired) ranked first in the motion THW abolish the use of placebo. It was adjudicated by the great Marion Guerrero, an alumnus in the union. It was her first time to place first in a British parliament set up during the summer practices. They had tough competitors. Their opening government was Adrian and Elery, both superior debaters and was inclined to the field of medicine and nursing. Their Opening opposition was Myser and Leyson also seniors in debate. The closing government was Espie and Ed. Espie was a debate alumni too and his partner was a nursing student. She and Adriel managed to forward stunning arguments and brave rebuttals that killed the government side as well as providing better quality of argumentation and values compared to their opening half. The adjudication was justifiable though. (lil achievement, )

Aside from spending time in the debate practices at night she and some of her debate companions were chosen to sit as panel in the summer classes on academic research handles by their former English instructor. Two sessions were held per day during that week, one was in the morning and the other was in the afternoon. Despite the boring oral defenses, the good this is that we were provided breakfast in the morning snacks in the afternoon. She usually sit as panel in the morning with Glenn and Earl. After the class we usually hang out at Consejo room to eat our food and at the same time read the research papers scheduled for the next day. Those were the idle moments she spent with him. How she wished it could be more productive. They seldom speak to each other even though they were seated in one table. The second to the last session during the weak was inactive but was better than the rest, because they were alone together. Earl had a date that time so he left us for a while. Lengthy hours of silence passed. We stayed in the library seated adjacent yet surrounded by a deafening silence. Her friend saw me with him and she smiled, she just smiled too. The oral defenses culminated and Sir Randy awarded us with certificates of appreciation for paneling his classes.

INITIATION RITES

At the end of the summer debate practices the Union decided to have a culminating outing. It was for the purpose of community building and gathering that will witness the initiation rites of the new permanent members. She and her debate batch mates (Glenn, Earl, Khalid and Sarah) will be baptized as stable members of the club. They will enjoy certain benefits and subsidies in competitions that will be provided freely by the administration. She was really excited about this outing-overnight for she senses it to be a once in a life time event.

It was Sunday and she had to attend mass before going to the outing. She invited her close friends in the union to have mass at 11am at the ADZU chapel. That day was Pentecost, one of the most remarkable celebrations of the church. According to tradition and scripture, it was the time when tongues of fire descended upon the apostles; Pentecost symbolized strength and enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. In real life she felt it was the flames that allowed people to move forward. The spirit was the one who made us strong. She reflected it as also being strong to hold responsibilities in the union that would advance the goals and social responsibilities.

She was the first to arrive at the chapel. She sat at the bottom of the right wing near the entrance of the chapel. Sarah arrived a few minutes after. They lay their knapsacks and overnight bags on the table beside their chair. The mass already started but Glenn and Earl was not yet around. She was really hoping that he would come. She pulled an empty chair and placed it beside her, so if he will arrive he will sit beside her. During the first and second readings he was not yet there. She was hesitant to test him because mass was going on. During the gospel reading she saw a shadow of a handsome facade entering the gate. She signaled him to sit were they were. At an instant, he was there seated beside her. She stayed silent and calm. She heard him singing the psalms and she was glad to hear his mellow voice. The part of the mass when people joined their hands as they pray the Lord’s Prayer was delightful. He held her hand and she also took a slight grip on his hands too. It seemed to be heaven; angles seem to come down from heaven. The feeling was ecstatic. The heralds and the church bells rung her soul and sped her heartbeat. Then after the prayer her imaginative mind was back to reality. She was really thankful to the almighty one for allowing her to experience at least a touch of bliss.

After the mass, they proceeded to the meeting place at Mr. Donuts. She was on of the first members to arrive. In a few minutes the others were arriving one by one. She and Sarah went to the grocery store to buy water and some chips. Along the way her slippers wrecked out. She had to go to the nearest store and buy the cheapest slippers available. What was sign the damaged slippers wanted to send? Most of the debaters already arrived and they were ready to go.

AT WOODLAND RESORT

The union arrived at Woodland Resort around 1pm. They headed straight to their cottage and simmered down. They walked briskly down the cemented stairs and along the brick cemented road. The landscape around the cottage was clean and fresh. There few tall trees. The wind swiped a breezy refreshing feeling. The fragrance of the grassy garden created a fragrant and calming mood. She felt the cool ambiance inside the air conditioned room which dispelled the heat outside. The first thing she did aside from laying her things was to jump on the clean adorable bed. The rest followed too. Some went to the rest room to discharge. She saw he strip off his shirt staying behind the door as if refreshing himself. Damn! His white flawless skin caused an unconscious dilation of the pupil and raising the heat inside her hormones. She was just staring at him silently in a glimpse of an eye. She stood up, grabbed her shorts and went to the comfort room to change too.

In a while, the seniors asked the newbies to take a little stroll outside the cottage for they are going to prepare the surprise. (whatever) She and her fellow newbies (offcourse with him) took a walk an searched for some recreational activities around the resort. Their first stop was the boating. David wanted to go horseback riding and he invited Glenn to be his companion. They hiked around the lake and had little chats while waiting for the boatss to be available. There was a toll of 100 pesos per hour for the you to ride the boat and cruise around the resorts lake. Each boat can accommodate a capacity of three persons. Life vests are provided too. The newbies grouped themselves. Earl, Khalid and Sarah were the first trio. She went with Glenn and David. The rationale of this division was according to weight and balance. The boys would make the paddle work. The girls will just sit back and relax as the boat streamed. It was an awkward feeling in the sense that she is boating with someone she liked in the past and someone who she is currently falling for. Yet, she kept this thought to herself. Glenn did not know the dynamics of paddling and how to maneuver the direction of the boat. David had a little knowledge about how it goes, yet their paddling would not work together. Their boat ended up bumping the outskirts of the lake. She tried to bring up some conversation yet they ended up arguing on the paddle direction. She just smiled. They met with the other trio in the middle of the lake. The two boats started to play with the water and used the paddles to splash the other boat. The boys had really a great time doing so. She and Sarah both in opposite boats were the loosing condition because they were the one getting soaked more.

The boating time expired and they were off to the shed to surrender their life vests. In a few minutes the seniors called them. Their prepared activity was ready. It was an amazing race type of challenge. They asked us to blindfold ourselves and let us randomly select a piece of paper on a container. It contained the name of an animal, then as soon as you receive it, you need to make the sound of that animal in order for you to find your team mates for the challenge. She was grouped with team opposition with Glenn, Kelvin, Sarah and Ed. The other team was the government team which was composed of Earl, Ryan, KR, Stephen and Khalid. Well, she could say that the team was well distributed in different angles. Maybe she was just glad that he was on the same team as her. In a few minutes the group was instructed of the mechanics of the games. The seniors prepared a five station dares. The stations involved using of different skills, for instance, physical, mental, cognitive, creativity and off course strategy and team work.

ADU AMAZING RACE CHALLENGE

The first station was a crossword quiz with a twist of a catch and fall mechanism. One needs to fall in the arms of his or her team mates so he or she could ran to the other side of the lake to pick up the question that will unlock the crossword. It was a test of physical sprinting speed as well as brainy power on recalling debate concepts and technicalities. Unfortunately her team lost by a margin of one question. The government team was able to solve the crossword faster.

The second station was a game that required flexibility and creativity. The concept of the match was ‘crossing the nuclear lasers’. There were two paralled ropes tied against ends of a 1 and ½ wooden pillar. The rope was the imaginary nuclear waves. Each team must be able to transfer as many members to the other side of the nuclear field without letting go of each other’s hands. She was the first prospect because she was deemed to be the lightest in the group. He was the implicit leader in the group. He thinks of different tactical mechanisms to be able to accomplish the task. He lifted her smoothly. His grip was tight on her hand. He handled her with care as he slowly raise her along the nuclear ropes. She was a little nervous yet silently enjoying the feeling. She fell on the lawn three times. Every time she fell he picked her up, held her arm and sees to it that she could stand. They are at the verge of surrendering. The rest did not want her to get hurt anymore. She still wanted to try with high spirits and showing them that she is not hurt but they discouraged her to do so. The minutes were lessening they have barely one minute to complete the task. Sarah was the next to try her position. The group was a little used to the repetitive trial of lifting and they were able to make the most cautious stunt during the last seconds, and it was a success. The second station was an opposition win since the government did not make it.

The third station transpired the deep waters of the resort’s lake. It was a boat race. They headed back to the lagoon and assembled for the team division again. Sarah, Kelvin and Glenn were clustered in the first boat. She and Ed were in another boat. Our team was not that energetic because we did not have much knowledge in boating. It was a government win for this test, they were really forceful and vigorous in gliding the boat to the finish line.

The fourth station happened to be a jigsaw puzzle contest. Yet, it was no ordinary rush to complete the puzzle; it was a recreation of listening and following instructions too. Whoever finishes nearest to the 7rh minute wins the match. Opposition team hurried to accomplish the puzzle right away. She wondered why he was counting through out the game. Alas! It was a tactic, after the game end, she realized true rationale of it. Done! Opposition screamed. They estimated the seven minutes moderately, and because of his witty and patient moves, opposition took the lead. ( 2pts. Vs 2pts.)

It was a tight fight between both teams. The results will lie of the fifth station bout. Who will triumph at the end of sun down? The fifth station was a ‘matter quiz’ challenge. It was patterned in a pyramid from whoever reaches the top first not violating any rules and answering the questions right will lead the team’s victory. The competition was filled with thrill and excitement. Kelvin and Sarah made it to the top spot first. It carried the opposition’s success. Yet, she also had great contributions to the team. The activity boosted her self esteem for she was able to answer questions they did not know. It just proved the value of matter loading and some stock knowledge she got inside her coconut. (Vladmir Putin, Kim Jong Il, Justin Beiber, USA). She has learned a lot from the questions.

CHILL!

It was already day break when the amazing race finished. The debaters headed back to the cottage. They washed off some mud and dust in their bodies. After quick attention to hygiene needs, the group ate their dinner at the woodland resort restaurant. (Tagal ng food) Because she was always keeping her eye on him, she noticed him texting the whole time. She remembered that a girl who studied in a prestigious university outside the city was arrived just that morning. Her intuition was right. She can’t help but feel the irony within. The activities and the experiences she just met brought a lot of joy and imprinted unforgettable memories, however the agony of being upset was also present. She was helplessly disheartened for some reason. Her world crumble in forlorn, think of that scenario happening. Another painful paradox was the circumstance that she is with him at that moment partaking his adorable presence and having a lot of pleasure in his company while his heart and mind was somewhere else. (along with his admiration for another girl.) The dinner did not satisfy her that much for she did not appreciate the food intake due to the gloomy mood behind the mask of her cheerful face in the table.

The debaters went for a night dip in the pool after dinner. She noticed him still not leaving his phone even when he was already in the pool. She presumed that someone important was on the other end of the line texting him that’s why he couldn’t leave his phone. She know this kind of behavior because she’d been there too, when someone special is texting she’ll leave everything to devote that precious time to that person, just like what he is manifesting. She discovered that he was the only person in the group who doesn’t know how to swim. Ryan tried to teach him and they ended floating on the other side of the pool. She took a quick shower with Isobelle, and they were ready to plunge into the pool. She was trembling, the night time temperature was damn cold, furthermore she was not used to night swimming. She did not just experience that chilly bodily shiver, moreover her hear was feeling that way too, quivering silently with the subtle hurt deep down. She felt loneliness and jealousy. The tremors wont stop. Yet, she understands that she does to have the right to be jealous either. Despite the little sadness, she tried to make the most savoring the night swim. It was indeed a pool fun. The pool was closing and they went back to the cottage to dry themselves and change to clean clothes. She and Sarah took the ladies bathroom outside the cottage. They finished earlier than the guys inside the cottage. They waited inside the cottage for the others to finish taking a bath. (isa lang po ang CR sa kwarto)

As she entered the door of the cottage she felt the icy coolness grasping the soles of her feet. She saw a broken glass behind the door. He accidentally broke it. Perfect! This is just how she truly feels at this moment, empty and broken. The edges of the broken glass seem to symbolically piece her heart with a feeling of agony. She entered the room gently putting down her bag beside the cabinet and rested on the bed. I saw him leaning beside the wall near the door. He was wearing a black underwear and it was not entirely covered by the towel on top his lap. He did not wear any covering in his body except the towel that was not that big and his rear leg was seen from behind. He did not know that her eyes were secretly staring at him. Her glances flicker as she looks away. (Holy Shit) Yet, her conservative ego was powerful and under control despite the surging sexual hormones beneath (just kidding) She can’t resist staring at his sparkling flesh. She tried to look away as much as she could but her glances turn beside the door when no ones looking.

INITIATION RITES

The newbies were blindfolded. They were prohibited to speak. The deafening silence was the start of the solemn ceremony and the highlight of the night. She was blindfolded tenderly, darkness and silence begun to encompass the surrounding. She could hear movements around the room and feet trotting along the alley of the beds. The loud voice of a while ago descended while the serious ambience begin to take its form. She was asked to sit on the edge of the bed. She recognized that it was Sarah in beside her (right side). Someone sat on her right side, she could not distinguish him because she was blindfolded. Then in a moment she recognized that it was him. His hygienic and uncontaminated scent, his cold solid torso and his faint breath beside her quickened the thumps of her heart. The place was filled with darkness as if lost souls were left in a certain room to internalize. She felt his hand touching her arms, and tenderly stroking upward to her cheekbone. She knew that he was blindfolded too, she thought that he was just trying to recognize the person behind him too. She was frozen by his mild fingers carefully tracing the edges of her façade. The echoing silence made her motionless despite the contra resistance of holding him in response.

Someone tapped her from behind. It was a signal to leave the room. Each of the newbies were linked by allowing them to hold each others shoulder in a straight line. They were ready to be exposed to the vast jungle. She and her companions were wandering around an area of uncertainty. The only thing they can count on was to trust. It was a creepy adventure. The eerie feeling of circling around the canopies of ancient tries cracked chills running down her spine. The grass was itchy and she could feel the texture of the soil as she crawled past the cement bricks. Yet she was never scared of stumbling nor did she feel panic. They let her jump and she leaped with all her strength. But, every time she does, she stumbles. She was too weak to extra force. However she stood up and continued to walk. Her legs were no longer strong enough to absorb the falls, because of the previous activities. The “trust walk” really drained her strength and endurance. What made her persevere was her determination to be a permanent member of the club despite all odds.

The midnight journey lasted almost about an hour (based on estimation). Finally, the newbies stopped walking. They gathered in one place. (still blindfolded). She heard voices speaking to them. It was their seniors permitting them to remove the blindfolds. She was astonished to see a circle of flames surrounding the rotunda located were they were standing. The blazing little flames were magnificent. She also saw a few sparkling streak of lights around. Yes, they were the bizarre little fireflies. The seniors stood in the middle of the circle. The moon was shinning brightly as it casts its beam over the unruffled lagoon. The radiance coming from above seemed to be like a spotlight enveloping the center of the fountain were the debaters were standing.

The soundless scene was awakened by the interrogation. They were down to the last formal rite of a complete membership acknowledgement. They were the P5, or permanent five just like how the United Nations perceive the fire veto super powers. Each of the permanent members spoke to them seriously. Some gave their constructive comments while others gave some compliments. The seniors mentioned each one’s strengths and weaknesses, some stated the stellar points and place for improvements. Some described how they perceive each ones personality. Each of the P5 had distinct assents, characteristics and skills. Lastly, the union president (Myser) bestowed upon them their key responsibilities in the union, with high hopes that each would fulfill that value.

Khalid- “Someone we can depend on”
(Her NAME)-“ someone who perseveres”
Sarah- “Mother of ADU”
Glenn-“Someone who has the leadership”
Earl- “Father of ADU, one who has more experience among the 5

This is what they said about her
Madame M: “On her personality..be open..
Ruth- Flexilble debater.. I see a championship soon..
Espie- “Break out from your shell”
Leyson- “Someone ready to help..
Myser-“influence others to persevere”

“Do you want to be a permanent member of Ateneo Debate Union?”, the president uttered. “Yes I do”, she replied with a firm conviction. “Welcome to the club.. Join us”, Myser responded.

At that very moment she felt joy and a sense of fulfillment. The status of being a permanent member made her feel dignified and worthy. She realized that being a permanent member entails lots of intrinsic responsibilities and moral duties to thy fellow man. Its like a fraternity, but its not. It friendship and camaraderie bound by the ethics of debate, furthermore the whole concept of a debate union and a debate community as well. She was happy seeing her colleagues taking their individual oath one after the other. The taking of oaths was down to the last member. She was a little drowsy and tired, and she cautiously rested her head on his shoulder. He was beside her after his turn to take the oath was done. She could not help but linger on this feeling.

BACK TO THE COTTAGE, ON THEIR WAY TO DREAMLAND

The initiation rites have come to and end. Everyone walked back to the cottage. Reaching their cottage nearby they began to assemble their little bed banks inside the room. Some layed their sleeping gears and stretched their comforters on the floor. The group attempted to watch a movie, yet before it the movie ended they were all fast asleep. Imagine, they are fifteen (15) people in the room and there were just two master beds. The room isn’t huge though. The first bed near the window was occupied by Ruth, Espie, Khalid, Icee, Earl and her. The second bed near the door was occupied by Leyson, Sarah, Glenn, Kelvin and Adrian. Between the beds were Ed and Murcia with their sleeping gears. KR and Stephen had stayed near the table for there was not enough space. Myser slept in his sleeping bag, near the other bags at the bottom of the master beds. She noticed that KR pilled the chairs in a vertical position as he managed to turn it into a bed. Stephen, being one of the biggest in the group lay his head on the table while sitting on one of the chairs. She told KR to take her space beside Espie so Stephen could sleep among the chairs. She transferred beside Adrian on the other bed to give way for someone. Good for her, she was petite and was able to fit in the other bed. It was not that comfortable because half of her body was rested on the wooden part of the bed at the ends of the mattress. This was one of the contracted spaces. Yet, she had no choice. Everybody seemed to be fast asleep. Amidst the silence, she could only hear his loud snore beside Adrian. It was disturbing though, yet she pretended it didn’t exist.

CAN’T SLEEP?

Although she already closed her eyes, she couldn’t sleep. Not because of the interrupting snore, but because of the thought of him which remained in her mind. The hungry innate drives towards the opposite sex was swirling her libido. The cold night was supplemented by the icy air conditioner. The energy transfer of bodily heat is provoking her Freudian senses. However she has a strong grasp of the ethical ego, so nothing wild transpired. No matter how she tries to catch sleep, her heart was beating not in its usual pace, her imaginations ruled her consciousness. He was sleeping across Ardian (gay?). How she wished positions were swapped so that she could be right beside him. Furthermore enter his dreams and tell him the words long left unspoken. She again tried to put herself to sleep. She started her sleeping ritual my mentally counting endless digits. She nearly reached a thousand and she feels her physical senses are still wakeful. She was able to sleep for about a few minutes. Her slumber was interfered by gaps of instinctive awakenings. She was half asleep the whole time. She never really slept yet she forced her eyes shut. The silence was reverberating.

She didn’t know it was already sunrise because the dim lights in the room made the time space inside like early dawn the whole time. She heard faint sounds such as water splashing form the bathroom, closets slowly unlocking, creaking of beds and feet movements. She slowly opened her weary eyes. She saw silhouettes packing their things and performing morning hygiene routines. She remembered that some of the debaters had to go somewhere on that morning and they to wake up early and leave early. Ruth has a class on that day. Espie had things to attend in the high school. Myser had a finance exa, while Khalid was the driver. She disregarded them and continued her slumber. She felt the bed moving again. She thought it was the movable Adrian causing such disruptions. She felt that half of her body was no longer on the edge of the bed; it was enjoying the softness of the mattress with a slight pressing collision. She could still hear the hoarse snore. She felt someone inserting his hand on her jacket. (Off course it was not a ghost) She thought that he was just looking for some warmth. She forced herself to continue sleeping without daring to look at the person beside her. She assumed it was Adrian, but what if it wasn’t? what if it was him? The sleeping gaps continued. The next time she awakened, Adrian was no longer beside her. She scanned the beds with wobbly eyes and saw Adrian occupying Myser’s sleeping bed. The quick glimpse of her groggy eyes also saw Ruth combing her hair and Myser putting on his belt.

DAWN PARADISE

She glanced beside her, Oh it was him sleeping soundly next to her. At that point in time they were face to face. He was gently sleeping like a harmless infant. She brushed her face against his arm. She moved closer as she wanted to acquire some warmth. She closed her eyes and continued her sleeping gaps. Suddenly she felt a little pressure pressing against her body. The gap between them narrowed and fastened. His arms rested upward. She found herself beside his ribs. She rested her arm on his abdomen. Her head was tilted to the opposite side so as not to face him. The overlapping arms pounded a collision inside her heart. It stirred sensation deep within. She was feeling a wonderful bliss between dreamland and reality. She turned around and resisted his torso, for she might hug him tighter and she doesn’t want her feelings to disclose that way. It was a manifestation that she wanted to be with him. She knew it would be the last time, that She’d see him fall asleep; she would tuck in more tightly and pray to God to watch over him. Although her eyes were constantly shut, her spirits were awake. She pretended she was asleep even though she could not be. She can’t see if there are still people in the room. (or have they left?)

She felt a fragile force from behind. A muscular arm suddenly embraced her with a tender stroke. His arms tied up her petite waist was grasps her from behind. At that instance she observed that the loud echoing snore was gone. Was he already conscious or still asleep? Did he do it intentional? Or was he his in the same position a while ago, unconscious of his movements. Nevertheless she took pleasure on that hug. This immense feeling enkindled the ember within. The heart was thumping harder, despite her stillness. His warm touch shrilled the energies of her soul. She was on the pedestal of her life. Although she thinks that it is already morning, she was hesitant to stand up. Her body was weak and her muscles were not in its perfect conditions. How she wished that dawn is for the rest of her life. Around 8:30am, she felt him slowly getting up from bed. He slowly let go of his arm around her waist. The others were slowly getting up too.

She sat on the edge of the bed near the wall. She was still drowsy as she wipes away the golden diamonds on her eyes. They were starring at each other blankly at that moment. She just smiled. Then He said, “(her name), hug kita, ok lang?” (Maybe he loves to hug people at home?) So, she leaned her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. His sweet gentle cuddle left her in ecstasy. Holding her in that position with their bodies firm was lovable. He was enthusiastic that morning. She was on cloud nine after that experience. She was the first person he hugged as he woke up. (Then he hugged the boys-japanaese body massage daw)

PACKING UP

The debaters slowly packed their things. The went to the restaurant to have their breakfast (9am). The opposition team had a free breakfast for they were the champions of the amazing race. After breakfast some of them rented a bike. She was eager to ride a bike. Lucky for her, there was a free bike, so she was able to have a few rounds of biking with him around the lagoon.

It was time to go home. The car van was already waiting outside Woodland parking area. They checked out the room and rode the trip going home. She reached her house at around 11:30am. She was still savoring the feeling of ‘hang over’ after the outing over night. Because she needed more rest, she fell on her bed and continued her slumber.

Resonating elapsed phases

2009-12-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

As, I am typing this, I am starring at a picture with of me and him... I find that picture so ideal. However, I guess its better for that photo to stay as it is...

I guess this time of the year, marks two solid years of FRIENDSHIP. Along those years, phases of waiting, remembering, letting go and holding firm on took place. Reminiscing what transpired two years ago. I think I have a very cliché story about this in my blue notebook. We are still in the same scenario; it seems that nothing has changed. I was still being linked to him. After two years, people still remember? Am I happy being in that state? What do I truly feel? Is it more than a “like” because sparkles deep within haven’t evaporated, instead they froze? I can’t help but be confused at this point. I am with a group of people who allowed me to grow and explore my hidden potentials. I am with the person who allowed me to gain strength in unleashing those potentials is holding me down. I still sense and long for his touch. Every time I am with him I experience a different kind of sensation. Maybe I could describe it as “admiration gaps”. Sometimes when He is by my side my heart spins, however it ends quickly when we part ways. During this once in a year get together the core of my affection brings me closer to him. Resonating echoes of the past wanted to re-emerge as if it craved to live another cycle being near him. However I believe there is a need for those memories to remain in ashes. Yes, I already realized that it was infatuation all along, but why does that kind of feeling exist beyond dimensions. Wasn’t time able to erase every piece of memoir and every feeling that yearned for his tender heart? “Infatuation, you’re tough uh”

When I arrived at the venue of our reunion, I was welcomed by young fresh faces. I saw facades as green and unpolluted as the garden encompassing the area. They led us to the tables beside the pool. Yes, they were our kids and we were their seniors. We shared a lot of bonding moments when I was still in high school. Now, we are relishing those moments together. We come together as well as welcome the new generation of debaters. It’s sad to admit that we are the old ones. Yes, we are growing older. I see in those young faces a blemish of childlike characteristics. The depth of their pool of knowledge is yet to be honed. I imagined how I was back then. In my mind, I could compare the changes in us from before. They were young and fragile. They’re minds will soon be infiltrated like ours. However, as infiltration would take place, I believe it will allow them to be mature and open minded individuals.

Yes, a lot of things had changed. First, I felt a little bit awkward being with the group. Then I gained self-reliance and soon I was able to mingle with the group in good spirits again. The other alumni debaters soon arrived. We were glad to see each other again. The conversation was filled with a debater’s aura. Arguments, intellectual jokes, and a lot more laughter ascended. It was a pleasant afternoon being with my contemporaries. The dawn break by the pool side was encompassed by laughter. Soon each one began to dive in the pool. Since I had no intention of dipping in the pool, I stayed by the rattan chair near the pool side. I was watching them enjoying the cold and icy water beneath. He too wasn’t able to bring a swim wear. Therefore he couldn’t take a dip in the pool. Yet, I saw his face, eager to jump in and join the group.
He sat beside me and we both remained silent. Just like before we don’t talk that much when it’s only us alone. However what is different today is that, I can talk to him more in group conversations. I am no longer the shy girl who was scared to utter a word whenever he is around. I can now go with the flow with out any tension and fear of speaking to him. He was also speaking to me know unlike before. Perhaps, we both grew a little mature. We already understood the limits of “teasing” and we know how to overcome that kind of scenarios now. It’s just going casual. However I noticed that we always dwell on being too casual at times, yet I never had the chance to talk to him and explore his deeper personality. I still wondered when it would happen. Yet, I don’t intend to know him that much anymore. I had enough.

The silence between both of us seated near the pool broke, as our friend down the pool shouted with a teasing smile. All of them followed. Yes, they are teasing us again. I smiled and remained silent. No more overacting reaction. Instinctively, I knew how to deal with the scenario. What is bothering is that, ironically I enjoy them pairing us again. I had a good time every time they smile when seeing us together. How I wished the personnel did not find any swimming gear for him to borrow. In a few minutes, he found a black swimming trunk. He rushed to the bath room to change his clothes.

He left his watch, jacket and glasses and plunged in the pool...

Childhood rainfall

2009-05-31T01:14:00.000-07:00

Today is the the birthday is the birthday of the flames. It allowed people relight the the flames of the past. Like our birthday, we commemorate the day we we're born. Now a company of friends would experience a different reawakening, for this will resurface significant pieces of memories they had in their past. With bold and blazing hearts they will occupy themselves wiht an ordinary pastime which will bring back something extraordinary...

She woke up a little bit late. She hurriedly do the morning routine and ate a heavy breakfast. She dashed to the cabinet and picked up her blouse together with her skinny jeans. She wore her rubber shoes hastily. After a few minutes she was already dressed up. She left the house and headed straight to the academy. Yes it was the meeting place where she and her friends will meet on that day. She was a few minutes late for the blessed ceremony. Her friends were already seated on the benches. She entered quietly, and sat near her friends. The ceremony ended at exactly lunch time. She and her friends had lunch at a fast food chain near the institute. They had fun chatting while they were eating. They talked about variety of things and experiences.

And soon she and her friends were done eating. They exited the fast food loudly, still continuing their chit-chats. She glanced at the gray clouds and lifted her had. She felt little torrents of water dripping from the sky, yes it was drizzling. The cold breeze encompassed their cheeks as they stroll through the sidewalk outside. One of her friends claimed that she knew a faster way to reach the actual venue. She acted as a tour guide and led the way. The little shower was moderate so they did not mind it, as they strode under the buildings in town. They seem so carefree crossing the streets despite the passing vehicles. As they were nearing the venue they walked near the boulevard. The breeze near the sea glistened a sweet chill on them. The wind was slightly terrible, it blew the hair of the girls. The others were having fun savoring the wind's chill while she was watching the waves shift back and forth on the shore. It seemed to encompass her with a melancholic feeling.

Finally, they arrived at the actual venue. It was a huge dome surrounded with enormous walls. It had an oblong cemented crimson bricked track at its center. It was encircled with a green grassy loam. Beside stood a huge empty stadium. There were a few people in place, most of them were athletes. They were playing their sports at the other side of the field. She and her friends settled near a small wooden shed. They started to look for a slipper that could be used to play "cha-cha" One of them offered his slippers and in a few minutes the team ups were ready. They started the game, it was team white versus team black. The members were equally distributed according to their skills. She was still seating at the shed, just watching the rest. She doesn't like to be drenched by the little icicles of water that dripped from the clouds. Her team mates encourage her to play despite the drizzles. After a while, the drizzles stopped pouring yet the cool breeze was still swirling in the region. She had no choice but to join them. At first, she thought she would not enjoy the game that she was not very familiar with. (She kinda forgot it na) As she observed her friends playing it. They kicked, dashed, run, soon she found herself enjoying the game. The next game they engaged in, was that so called "Jeri Base" (not sure with the spelliing) The group split up in two groups. They established their team's base at opposite ends of the field. The game was fun filled with running, tagging, observing one another's movements and all. The game enfolded the concept of power-ups, entrappments, and enchaining the opponent in your team. How to win? Simple, one should touch the opponent's base freeing the captives from their team. The game furnished delightful smiles in their faces. "Indeed, Sports is sweetest when there are no spectators". ^_^

Funny isnt it? Yes these were the childhood fancies she and her contemporaries enjoy during their younger years. When they were kids they paint the down red with all those inventiveness and creativity. It awakened her memory during her elementary days. She used to play with her classmates in the assembly area or at the field of their school during lunch time. They play jeri base, sili-sili water, viva, luksong tinik etc. Most of her playmates were boys. That's why she posses slight attitudes of agressiveness and warlikeness. She is always treated as one of them by her playmates. She reminisced the times when their teacher scolds them because they arrive late after lunch with uniforms drenched by their own perspiration.

Despite a pail of prespiration, the afternoon's amusement brought delight to all of them. Everyone enjoyed each others company. The bliss of playing with friends rekindled. thier childhood memories, building a stronger bond and relishing the flares of childhood joy.

It reminded her that we all need to grow up and trancend to different phases in our lives because we're not always children at the end of the day..

Cocealed by the flames

2009-05-10T06:10:00.000-07:00

She slid a little box creatively wrapped in red wrapper in her pocket, and glanced at her watch. It was 8:00 in the evening. She entered a small building. It was not that huge. It would accommodate about three hundred people. It was a convention hall type with a mini grassy garden on both sides. There was a glass that served as its ceiling. The people can see the dark night sky above the hall. In this place, the traditional cyclic celebration of the flames will be held. This celebration is a significant event where people in a particular society commemorate.

The place was enveloped by darkness. The lights were turned off. She was with a group of people who had taken care of since the day of her existence. Inside the hall were benches lined in rows. There was an alley in the middle which divided the left and right parts if the convention hall. As she approached the brown benches she noticed only a few people seated on the random benches. She and her companions sat in the eighth bench on the right wing near a dim area. Since it was still dark she stood up quietly and roamed the borders if the room trying to unnoticed. She scanned every bench hoping to find a young man of her age. She was expecting him to attend the ceremony too. Yet she found no trace of the person she was looking for. She moved silently behind the crowd and went back to her seat. She felt absurd and starred at the platform for quite some time.

Suddenly, she glanced out of the huge glass window to her right. There was a lighted three story building. It was a few meters away from the hall. She detected three silhouettes approaching the entrance of the hall from the near by building. They emerged in the dim light and stepped in the entrance of the convention hall. She recognized them immediately, yes it was him. He was with an adult woman (in her thirties she guessed) and a younger sister. They walked slowly through the center ally looking for a place to sit. As the trio approached she was seated calmly and firmly in her bench, pretending not to notice them. The familiar figures moved to the eighth row in the left wing. The bench were they were located was in line with the row in the right wing were she was seated. Much to her astonishment he sat at the end of the bench making both of them just a meter away across the alley. Yes he was the soul she was waiting for, solid and intact. She was overflowed with joy, yet kept the feeling under her toes.

The room was still in darkness. As the clouds uncovered the illuminating full moon, the ceremony begun. A large fire emanated from the little embers near the garden in the left wing of the building. It was the start of the rites. The leader spoke in a loud voice and gave a brief introduction. The people in the hall faced the altar of flames and lighted the candles given to them. The little flames in each ones candle was shared until the hall was lighted in the darkness.

A lot of things play in her mind right now as she held the tiny box in her pocket. She was barely listening to what the leader was speaking. After the symbolical practice of the golden flame, there was silence... The leader and his subordinates strode along the center alley. It marked the genesis if the ceremony’s entourage.

A little presentation was observed after the little dash. It was mixture of speech and chants which explain the piece of history and the event’s significance. The joyous part of the ceremony begun as the lights reflected in every part of the hall. The chandeliers shimmered lights all around the place. The lamps glittered is beam beside the widows. The blissful atmosphere entered the scenario. The room was filled with melody and ecstasy as the chants were sung in chorus. It awakened the flaming spirits of the community in the celebration.

She flashed a stolen glace to her left and she saw his bizarre outlook. He was attractive and his aura tonight was striking. She was mesmerized by this handsome young man’s appearance. Her soul was spell bound with bliss, by his fair serious expression. He seemed to glow in the crowd. He was fine dressed with his elegant grown up outfit. The tops and bottoms were stylish which appeared pleasant on him. He was wearing semi fit cotton polo, half sleeve type, with a fold above the elbow. It blended magnificently with his figure. His coloured polo shirt displayed a vibrant pattern of checkered squares with a mixture of maroon and ox-blood red. It made him look delightfully charming. He was in blackish blue jeans with faddish streaks of ivory. His black framed glassed matched his stylish wavy hair. He looks really smart and captivating with that apparel.

She was warmed by his delightful charm as he was standing straight forward, looking at the altar and listening to the leader. She glanced at him once in a while and held him in her unwavering gaze for quite some time. She immediately run her eyes and bends her head once in a while to keep her gaze unseen. She knew he was aware of her presence but their gazes intentionally don’t meet. (She avoids it) She was observing him all the while, trying to perceive his actions. He looked like a kid as he lighted his candle and play with the melting wax with his fingers.

The part of the ceremony which was called “corona of kindness” proceeded after the lighting of the flames. The people should express goodwill towards one another. It was done by shaking of hands or simply smiling at one another, similarly greeting each one with gladness. She glanced at her left favourably hoping to see a smile in his face. As they crossed their glances, he replied with a harmonic smile. She also returned a heartfelt smile at him. Starring at one another, their eyes stayed firm for a moment. He gave her a warm-hearted mysterious wink which created an unnoticed blush in her face. She was stunned for she did not expect what happened at that very moment. Her heart was dancing like the flames in the celebration and melting like the candle wax, as she commit to memory what had transpired just a breath away.

Towards the end of the ceremony the people offered tokens of appreciation to their friends. Some exchanged little gifts wrapped in different kinds of cover. The leader spoke to the crowd. He was giving the final message which marked the end of the ceremony. They sung the last hymn and the people exited the hall as symphony of melodies was played in the background. The altar of flames was kept lighted the whole night. The crowd moved through the center and she could not see him beneath the people. She hurried outside passing at the sides of the hall. She glanced outside the garden trying to find him. She wants to say something she felt about him.

At last she found him standing alone under a pillar of vines in the garden. He was looking away from the place. She quickly grabbed the little box in her pocket, and was about to approach him but, another lady approached him smilingly. She knew that lass for she was his childhood friend. She stood frozen near the boundary of the convention hall as she slid herself backward. She observed them in a distance; she saw her giving a tiny box to him. It had a similar shade of red like the box she held. She realized that it was time for her to go because her companions maybe waiting for her in the car van. She slowly walked back towards the parking area. She went away feeling empty and disappointed.

Despite all, she always knew that he already had someone special before she met him. She is aware that he will always treat her as his friend. Yet her heart was full of hope that someday he will feel the same way. She was really hurt. Her heart was wounded with disparity and unrequited love. She loved him but she was always enslaved in agony. She decided to go back to the altar of flames. As she clenched her fists putting to mind that her hidden admiration for him will always be concealed in a one sided love. Tears began to flow on her cheeks needlessly. “Why do I have tears in my eyes today when he was NEVER mine?” she whispered to the flames as she burnt down the little red box with the letter on it, beneath the blazing flames.

Torn Garments

2008-11-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am submerged in darkness
Feeling the agony it hasn’t before
Enveloped by mere coldness
It torments the heart and makes it sore

A deep scar is left bleeding
My fragile soul is weak
A segment of my entity is trembling
Tear drops begin to leak

I no longer want to suffer
What happened along the way?
I thought hanging on was better
Why should it need to end this way?

Rescue me from this sober
All I ask is a minute bliss
Rejuvenate this feeble ember
Make me immortal with thy kiss

Maskara

2008-07-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

Maskara

Sa likod ng mapanlinlang na maskara
Ay isang nagdurusang kaluluwa
Saan nga ba ang tunay na mukha?
Totoong sarili’y di maipakita

Sa dilim ay madalas nagtatago
Dala dala ang mga karanasang bigo
Liwanag ay kay tagal hinahanap
Ngunit kahit konti ay walang masulyap

Patuloy ang agos ng buhay
Ngunit nabubuhay sa hindi tunay
Sa likod ng mga ngiti
Lungkot ay pilit ikinukubli

Maskara ay mahirap hubarin
Ito na ang nakasanayang gawin
Saan kukuha ng lakas?
Upang tunay na sarili ay maipamamalas

Falling for your bestfriend

2008-03-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

Falling for your best friend

Relationships extending beyond family are great springs of happiness life. This is what we call “friendship”. Friendship is a mutual intimacy of affection which all of us desire. It is mutual trust, understanding and care among friends. Friendship is possible when we find compatibility between peers or persons we share similar affinity, interest, values, enjoyment, delight and aspirations. Everyone has a best friend. A best friend is a friend you tell everything to. These people are people with you whom you can share secrets with. They help you, talk to you when you need someone to lean on. They are the persons whom you can talk about personal issues, social issues, crushes and all. You usually hang out together and have that unique connection that makes you comfortable with each other.

Love and friendship are two very important relations in ones life in some situations, because of this pleasure they experience, best friends tend to fall for each other. It is not impossible for best friends of the opposite sex to fall for each other because bearing in mind that they have shared secrets, personal issues, personal problems and everything to each other. They do not need to undergo the process of getting to know each other anymore. They seem to be an ideal couple doing carefree stuffs. They will soon find themselves in the realms of love. Yes love is a natural feeling which comes when you start to like, admire, care or shall I say love the person. This sensation of affection is different from all other emotions. When you see them around you start getting cold or when they talk to you about something you become tongue tied or maybe you’re lost of words. Yes my words are very limited to define this typical peculiar feeling. Things might be complicated and awkward at the beginning. When the feeling takes place, friendship is always a barrier; well it is often times a borderline. We have this fear of loosing our friends along the way. The question is., how can you tell your best friend you love them? Admitting your true feelings would be a more crucial part because considering the friendship you have established through the years, are you willing to let go the attachment you shared as friends after all these years? Are you willing to face the consequence when the situation turns out to be a nightmare? Are you willing to risk friendship for love?

Yet friendship and love sometimes share an irony. For some it is a start of a new relationship but for some it is a limit. Friendship is a feeling or emotion expressed in such a way that another feels wanted. Yet I can say there is love in friendship but that’s a different kind of care they both share. Don’t confuse in from love. Love is a word that has numerous definitions but one thing is for certain it is a passionate affection for another person. It is a feeling of warm deep emotion. Sometimes it’s because of this passionate affection best friends share; they are likely to feel a more complex affinity believed to be love. Nevertheless value friendship because it’s an elemental relationship one should treasure a lot. Cherish your friends because they’re all you got when everything fails. Falling for your best friend is a normal dilemma we encounter in our lives. The difficult part here is making the right choice either to let the friendship go and let love take place or to stick to friendship you cherished since then. Now, let me ask you…Is friendship more important that love? Is friendship bound by love or is it love bound by friendship?

Growing up....moving on....

2008-01-31T05:04:00.000-08:00

Growing up...moving on..XP

“Life is like an onion. It has many layers. But, as you slice it, it makes us cry.” When we think about growing up, we can’t help but think about the pains and hurts that every experience caused us. In this complex dimension of reality, which we call - “life”, we can’t avoid facing changes and obstacles in different forms. These, more often than not, make us confused, sad, frustrated; but at times also give us joy, joy that inspire.

As we walk life’s path from childhood to adulthood, we go into a process of soul searching. At this stage of our lives today, we – teenagers, question more (so many questions flood our minds), are more curious, …… and long to belong to a group. Some even wear masks to alter their identity, just so that they can fit in a particular group. (Hey, wake up! Be yourself.)

Life is indeed full of trials. As we journey through the path of life we encounter numerous roadblocks and detours - struggles, anxiety, hardships. These come in the form of pressures from peers, expectations from parents and teachers, failure of plans, and heartaches . For some people, the trials of life become hindrances to their moving forward.

As I ponder, I realize that for some people, the trials keep them from change. Thus, they would rather choose to stay in our own comfort zones no matter how old we are. We get used to what we have grown comfortable with and refuse to leave it for fear of failure. We hide behind the shadows of our childish ways just so that we don’t get frustrated, or face life’s trials. Our past taught us that living on this earth means living a life full of obstacles. So, as one reaches adulthood, one carries with him the heartaches and pains he had undergone. Our perspective of life is to suffer pain, so we remain inside our own shells, afraid to explore what the world has for us. We would rather build barriers around us and choose only the things that could make us happy. We choose to stay inside our boundaries keeping ourselves from getting hurt in the process.

Yet, God allows pains in growing up. Only through all these can we be better and mature individuals. He wants us to learn from our mistakes so that we could mend those brokenness. We should learn to discern and make the right choices in life, because choices reveal our inner selves – they reveal who we are. To heal our wounded heart, we must learn to open ourselves to the world and accept the changes that come our way. I believe we can overcome the trials and challenges if we face them with all courage and determination. Appreciating the beauty of life is going through processes of changing ourselves and growing up.